Sunday, November 20, 2005

How To Get Extra Food at the School Cafeteria:

This is case specific, so this will cover basic strategies using pizza as an example.
1) Select a food item that is wide in size, in our case pizza.
2) Place one piece in the main tray.
3) Next, select two pieces, preferably connected together, and set them carefully over the first slice.
4) Look at your choices for a side (My favorite is corn). With your side dish of choice pile it sloppily so that it flows over on to your pizza. (There you have it, three slices for the price of two)

5) Remember it is all about appearances, so take a quick look over your work for flaws.
6) Body language and mood. When in the line act annoyed and in a hurry. Lunch ladies already feel pressured to get students out of line, so it doesn't take much acting from you to make her feel nervous and hurried.
7) Other notes: Loose "multi" foods are easy. Case in point, chicken nugget day. Just grab a couple extra nuggets and slide them into your bag of nuggets or have them rest in your hand holding the tray. Shove nuggets into your mashed potatoes or into some bread.
Drinks- generally they are a no-go because you cannot change their size or appearance. The only possible option is to purchase your lunch, go back for another drink and attempt to walk out. If confronted, claim you forgot your drink initially.
Eat extra food in line before you pay.


Anonymous said...

Well Drinks are not always a no-go. Depending on your cafeteria, We select our drinks and cup size and collect our own from the drink dispenser thing on the way to the cash register. This way its easy to slip a yummy choc bar or fav **SEALED** (no paper packets) sweets into the cup, then filling up your cup, and putting on the lid hiding the secret chocolate bar, REMEMBER: a black sweet wrapper in a orange drink will show through misty semi-transparent lids, so go for coke.

Dirk the Feeble said...

You are a genius.

Anonymous said...

this is why you are fat. who do you think you are aladdin or something? you don't have any apu monkeys to be a feedin. asshole.

Anonymous said...

I saw a variation of this on House the other night. House got a t-bone steak from the hospital cafiteria, and covered it with lettuce, and ended up paying for a "light salad" for lunch.

Anonymous said...

The best way to steal from the cafeteria is to take a snack like cookies in a package or twinkies or a snack pie and then hold it in your hand under the tray, they never catch this...i did this every day for 6 years and was caught once

Anonymous said...

NA NA NA, takes two guys. The first has a sweatshirt or jacket with a biiiig hood. The second just puts the stuff in the hood of the guy in front of him as they go through the line... Works best for "fast food" items that are wrapped up.

;-) old school style circa 1978

Anonymous said...

hope no lunch ladies catch this post and wise up!

Anonymous said...

hope no lunch ladies catch this post and wise up!

Joe said...

Hey, That's stealing!


Anonymous said...

Just hold the pizza under the tray.

Anonymous said...

or you can always wear a really big sweatshirt and just put everything you want extrainto the large pockey in front....or have a friend with a backpack on and fill it up as you go (works way better than hood of a sweatshirt does lol) so good lcuk and rise againts the maniacal dictators of schools (idk jsut sounded good and liek somthing that would promote rebellion against a school lol)

McCrotch said...

or just eat during the line before you pay, and at the end give them your tray and say "im not hungry."

nah, dont do that, but if you have really baggy sleeves, you can drop small pre-wrapped things down them, where they'll eventually collect near your elbow area.

dan said...

lol my school is stupid, theres no lunch ladies, and its not on camera, i bring an empty backpack and stick like all the pizza and everything in it, and sincce my school is small as hell, theres like 10 people in the lunch line, (our school has 4 lunches) but you guys dont wanna do what i did, theres only 20 kids in my grade (i went into the main computer at my school and literatly gave everyone a bad grade

I don't suggjest doing this. lol, i made over 370 people stay back, lol. and no, i didn't do it cuz im fat, i did it cuz most of my buddies dont have alot of money to buy the good food so they gotta buy shitty stuff, so now we eat good, and we take half the stuff home and later sell it to kids. lol

-with love,

Anonymous said...

i got busted in college, almost kicked me out for stealing breakfast one day. word of advice, dont get caught.

Anonymous said...

the best way to get free food from the caffeteria is to have a lunch ladie who hates the school and gives ppl free food, so that the school loses money,:)

Anonymous said...

"I don't suggjest doing this. lol, i made over 370 people stay back, lol."

Yeah, that's bloody hilarious. -_-

Lunch ladies caught people eating food (mostly nuggets) in line, so they started patroling like hawks and stopped selling certain things.

Anonymous said...

kind of stupid.............but pretty ............yeah pretty stupid(*)>

Anonymous said...

I eat half my food. Then act like if i tripped, or bumped into someone and drop my food. Next i complain for a new lunch. Not the best way but i did it and it works.

Anonymous said...

Wow. this is miserable. In fact terrible. Why would anyone want to steal a school lunch? They aren't even that good. Look at your motive. You are such a fat fool. If i were you, i would work on spooning my eyes out.

Anonymous said...

"The best way to steal from the cafeteria is to take a snack like cookies in a package or twinkies or a snack pie and then hold it in your hand under the tray, they never catch this...i did this every day for 6 years and was caught once"

your fat. beware of the twinkie hustler

Anonymous said...

ok. at my school you have to walk up to a counter and ask for them to give you each item and they add up the cost and you pay for am i supposed to steal it this way??? well one time while the lunch lady was grabbing me a cookie, i took a few of the things off the counter and she forgot to make me pay for them. got any better ideas??

Anonymous said...

I personally think you should all get friends

Anonymous said...

Shame on you all! I am a lunch lady and I will be making all my lunch lady co workers aware of these sneaky theiving tactics.

Anonymous said...

At my school we can get hash browns or potato cakes in a paper bag, i just ask for two or three and say ive only got one! it works.once i bought $3 to school, got nine potato cakes and only paid $2.40. It was great! i didnt eat them all but, i shared them with friends!

Anonymous said...

I am a lunch lady/cashier and we know all the moves you kids do but since the school does not want to change things like hireing more people to watch the lines well the stealing will never end and money is lost. If the parents ever knew what their kids do they would freak out, and believe me they do plenty at lunch.

Anonymous said...

Your all a bunch of idiots and its only a matter of time before you get so comfortable stealing in the cafeteria that you go to your local mall and steal and get caught there.Yes I am a lunch lady and i know what you morons are doing but I get the last laugh when i see your name in the local paper under the court log .Your parents must be PROUD

Hugh G. Rection said...

You bastard kids don't even work for your extra slice of pizza. Back in my day we had to lick the lunch lady's hairy twat for extra pizza.

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't u lunch ladies be making food and getting fat on it?

Patrick Walms said...

The best way to sneak a drink is to put in under your armpit opposite the lunch lady... they focus on your hands and tray with the money and food.

Anonymous said...

i got busted in college, almost kicked me out for stealing breakfast one day. word of advice, dont get caught.

Better advice: Don't steal you fucken dipshits. My guess is that you are a bunch of fat, blimp-pigs who watch Oprah and believe she is correct when she says: 'It's ok to be fat.' Guess what, it's not ok, chunks!

Anonymous said...

I never buy lunch, I bring it instead, but my school really knows how to whip up a delicious batch of french fries. I have no control over what I take; the kitchen lunch ladies are handing out the proper amounts of each foods on trays/in fry holders, etc.

However, this allows for easy theft. I ask for "fries only please" and recieve my Burger King style fry-pod. 1 Second later, the lunch lady is busy with another customer. There is still a line of kids ahead of me paying for their lunches, and the cashier lunch lady is busy with breaking 20$ bills. With no other administrators, it's very easy to just slip out of the line and return to my seat without paying.

All it is is making sure you're not noticed at ALL. It's not dificult. Just sort of, exit the line non-chalantly. I tend to make a facial expression that says "Oh shit, my friends left my table and I don't say them" for some reason.

Anonymous said...

I am a lunch lady, and believe me, the lunch ladies are much smarter than you think.... They know these tricks, and if you are caught in school, then they turn you in, and you have to pay for it, and also face detention and/or suspension. Best advice, don't steal. Then you don't have to worry about anything.

Anonymous said...

Posted by Anonymous | 12:26 AM

Hey, That's stealing!


yeah, thats stealing. If you havent noticed, most of the stuff on this site is illegal. fun reading it though. :)

Deb the lunch lady said...

I"m a lunch lady, but we don't have much problem with stealing at my school. Here, everyone pays the same and they pay *before* they get their food. And we serve it all, no one takes their own, except the salad bar where you can help yourself to as much as you want. AND we have automatic seconds, so when you finish your meal you can get more! Who needs to steal?

Anonymous said...

A, no one in the UK uses these any more! We use plates and trays

Anonymous said...

lols say there is somebody you want to get in trouble put stuff in his or her hood if she or he has one and hope they get caught if not sneak by the once out of the place where the lunch ladys are in to the main eating room and take em back out lolzypants

Dax 96 said...


Anonymous said...

depends on what your skool caf is like you fuckin idiot

Anonymous said...

All you have to do is be kind.

It sounds weird at first but it works, I know 3 out of 4 of the people that work at the cash register and they think of me as a polite and considerate young man. This gets me many free meals if I come in at the end of lunch when the food is about to be chucked.

You don't have to be a kiss-ass, you just have to be friendly to the people that just stand around for an hour counting items and sorting through change.

BTW: I'm not fat, so could people stop saying that to every single comment.(I actual want to put on a bit of weight cuz I'm all muscle LOL!)

Anonymous said...

Mayne where i live theres to high school buildings the north and the $outh in the north you cant steal shit cause its new and you have to ask for the food in the $outh its easy to steal cause all the good food is in the back and the lines get really huge so the cashiers ill never spot you the other lunch ladies are bring food trays so its easy said then done my moms a lunch ladie and she doesnt really care that i steal plus she gives free lunches to ke and friends so its all good.

Proactol said...

The first has a sweatshirt or jacket with a biiiig hood. The second just puts the stuff in the hood of the guy in front of him as they go through the line.

Anonymous said...

This doesn't work for a lot of schools because they changed the way they serve food. In my opinion, school food is kinda nasty so I bring my own.

Anonymous said...

at a gues the person that wrote this was American?????

Anonymous said...

I am not fat, just very hungary.I also lack sufficient funds to pay or I would. Also school is the only place I know food will be available. Sorry if you hate me but I have to eat.

Anonymous said...

You say 20 in your grade so id guess maybe 80 in your school. But you held back over 370 kids. So unless you did it four years in a row and that means you held back the same kids 4 years over..... I dunno man i think thats some bs.

Judith Oaks said...

HI, Im a lunch lady. I Hate my life and the school I work for, you kiddos might think your stealing from us, but I stole over 3 million from you assholes. Thats why you cant afford food in the first place! Look me up! my name is Judith Oaks. I got out of jail for it in 2 months and i only have to pay back 150 a month! thats gonna take 836 years to pay back! Looks like you queers arnt getting your money back! Have a good lunch today... if you can afford it!

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