Thursday, November 10, 2005

How To Rehabilitate Yourself From Being Emo:

1) Burn all of your CDs, they suck.

2) Get rid of your plastic jewelry.

3) Get rid of your clothes.

4) Buy new clothes, two sizes bigger than your old clothes, and not all black. (FROM THE RIGHT SECTION! NOT CLOTHES DESIGNED FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX!)

5) Dye your hair back to its original color.

6) If you don't need glasses, stop wearing them. If you need glasses, get contacts.

7) Get rid of any hair gel, hairspray, or hair straightener that you have been using to hold your hair in your face.

8) Get some scar removal cream and put it on your wrists.

9) Stop talking to your other emo friends.

10) Tear down posters, peel off stickers, burn magazines, and give away anything else that reminds you of your old life.

11) Get rid of all of the crappy poems you wrote.

12) Make some new friends.

13) Stop crying so much.

14) Throw away your Converse All-Stars. You have at least five pairs, get rid of all of them.

15) Enjoy not being emo.

213 comments:

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Anonymous said...

How to not be dick:
1. Take head in both hands.
2. Pull strongly out of ass.

Anonymous said...

*cough* dickhead *cough, cough*

Anonymous said...

g Ay

somedude said...

I am having trouble with #13 i think it was, STOP CRYING SO MUCH. and also having trouble with making new friends. PLEASE HELP

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Unknown said...

Woah too far.

Anonymous said...

I have never been more disappointed in humanity than I am right now, looking through all of these hateful comments about emos and gay people.It's not your fucking job to judge people. If you are a "christian" than you should know this. And for the non Christians who think it is ok to talk shit about people and their life style, it's not. Being an asshole is not a good look for you. Nobody wants to be around a narcissist judgemental bitch. You have your own problems. Deal with those before mocking people for their life style and choices. Bullying others is a problem. If hurting others makes yourself feel better, then you are the one with the issue. Also not hurting others is common sense. Do you want other people to say you should kill yourself and that you are a pussy? This whole blog was supposed to be funny, not a chance for a bunch of hating dumb asses to tell a certain type of people to kill themselves. Depression is a real thing and it doesn't always come from life problems. It can be genetic. Some people can't help it. Stop being an asshole.

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