Monday, December 12, 2005
2) Get a pack of Mentos, the mint kind.
3) Make a paper tube that is the same diameter as the Mentos.
4) Put an index card under the tube, and fill the tube with Mentos.
5) Open the two-liter bottle.
6) Put the tube with the flashcard under it on top of the two-liter bottle and align the tube with the opening in the bottle.
7) Quickly remove the flashcard so that all of the Mentos fall into the two-liter bottle at once, and get out of the way.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
2) Put the arm you plan to throw with in front of you, with your elbow bent at a ninety degree angle.
3) Grip the card with your thumb and ring finger, and place your index finger on the corner furthest away from your hand.
4) Bend your wrist so that the card is closest to you.
5) With one solid movement, snap your wrist in a frisbee-throw type of motion and release the card at the peak of this movement. Do not use your elbow.
6) At the moment of release, push your index finger back towards your hand, which should spin the card.
7) The card should not travel fast, but most of its movement should come with the spin.
8) After enough practice, this technique should be able to pierce paper, fruits, skin, and even drywall.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
2) Stack wood in a log cabin fashion inside of the pit, building upwards. Make sure to space the wood out to leave a center.
3) Fill the center with wood chippings/ twigs/ newspaper. Only use dry leaves if you don't have anything else as they have a tendency to burn up quickly and be carried away in wind.
4) Use matches to light different points in the center.
5) Blow into center of the "log cabin" appropriately to get the fire to burn hotter.
6) Add additional kindling until center logs catch on fire and embers are created.
Friday, December 02, 2005
2) Put about two cups of flour (500 ml if you're foreign), into the center of the napkin.
3) Gather all four corner of the napkin and attach them using a rubber band.
4) Throw at your desired victim and laugh.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
2) Turn your stove on HIGH. Let it sit for a minute. You want it to be really hot.
3) Put your piece of toast face down in the pan (with the picture facing the heat source). Make sure to do it very gently, because you can't slide it at all once it goes into the pan.
4) Let it toast for a few minutes.
5) Lift up your piece of toast and check out your picture.
6) Give your piece of toast to a friend, eat it yourself, or sell it on eBay for $28000
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
2) Insert the knife into the spot where the thighbones meet the turkey's body.
3) Separate the thigh from the body by feeling for the joint, and cutting along the joint.
4) Feel for the joint in the drumstick, and cut along the joint until the drumstick is free from the thigh.
5) Slice along the bones of the thigh and drumstick getting as much meat off with one stroke as possible.
6) Cut thigh and drumstick meat into slices.
7) Find the joint where the wing connects to the turkey's body, and cut along the joint freeing the wings from the rest of the body.
8) Cutting parallel to the breast, cut slices off of each side of the breast.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
You will need: A pencil, ample amount of scotch tape, a one dollar bill (the crisper the better), and most importantly common sense. Common sense will be needed to not get yourself into trouble, as in don’t use this method in areas of high traffic, areas patrolled by authority, areas under video surveillance, or anywhere where the “free” drinks can be tied to you.
1) Draw two strands of tape about 4 feet each (1.3 meters if you’re foreign).
2) Tape the top of the dollar bill with one of the strands, and then stretch this strand out.
3) Tape the bottom of the bill with the other strand, and stretch it out.
4) Find the middle of the strands and place the pencil across it.
5) Carefully double over each strand of tape, so that the tape is not sticky on either side, and the dollar bill is taped on the top and bottom, on both sides.
7) Insert the dollar bill.
8) Wait for the dollar bill to be read, and make your purchase.
9) Slowly but firmly pull the pencil back out of the machine.
10) Receive your free object.
11) Repeat a couple times.
12) Don’t do this continually on the same one, or the same spot, or somebody will get suspicious.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
2) Mix the grape juice with 2 parts water. (The less water, the stronger the wine. Use all grape juice if you want it really strong)
3) Mix in just enough sugar to where it starts to turn cloudy.
4) Add half of a packet of yeast. (A whole packet if you are making a lot.)
5) Find a container to make the wine in. I would suggest a plastic container.
6) Poke a small hole in the lid of the container. This is to let the carbon dioxide produced during fermentation out of the container. If the hole is too small to let the carbon dioxide out, the wine will spoil, but if the hole is too big, and air gets in, you will have vinegar. Experiment, this part takes some experience.7) Mix everything together and put on the lid.
8) Store in a cool, dark place for 3-7 days. (Until the small bubbles stop rising to the top.)
Warning: Step 8 smells. Bad.
9) After the bubbles stop rising, open the bottle and prepare a white coffee filter.
10) Run the mixture through the white coffee filter to get all of the excess sugar and yeast out.11) Throw away the filter and all the stuff in there.
Monday, November 14, 2005
2) Bend the wire from a clothes hanger so that it can be attached to the side of the gun, and sit about half of an inch below where the water would normally come out. The wire should extend about six inches in front of the gun.
3) Attach the wire in place using electrical or duct tape.
4) Using a rubber band, attach a birthday candle, horizontally to the piece of wire.
5) Fill the water tank with a fuel. Use lighter fluid or something like that. DO NOT USE GASOLINE!!!
6) Go outside.
7) Pump the gun, don't pump too much, just enough to get it to shoot.
8) Light the birthday candle.
10) Make any adjustments necessary to the alignment of the candle.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
2) Decide which floor you want to go to.
3) Extend both index fingers.
4) Press the button for the floor that you want to go to, and the door close button at the same time, and hold them down for five seconds.
5) Laugh at all of the people that are waiting on an elevator while you go right past them.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Back of the room against a wall:
1. Prop yourself up against the wall.
2. Get in a comfortable, yet steady position.
3. Direct your head towards the teacher's position or the position where the teacher will be speaking.
4. Use your hand to not only cover your eyes, but to keep your head from falling down.
5. If you are not using your other hand, place a pencil in it, then place it over a piece of paper that is already written on.
7. Half close your eyes to look awake if you have the skill of sleeping with your eyes open.
In the middle of a row
1. Direct yourself towards the teacher like in steps 1 and 4 earlier.
2. Lean way back in your seat to ensure that you will not fall over.
3. Prop your chin on your chest in order to look like you are paying attention to the lecture.
4. Cross your arms, it helps to keep you back in your seat and from bobbing.
5. Place a piece of written on paper in front of you like in step 6 from above.
6. Half close your eyes to look awake if you can, as in step 7 from above.
1. Follow steps 1 and 4 from above and face the teacher.
2. Sit up straight in your desk.
3. Slightly lean forward and look down towards the desk.
4. Brace your head with one or both hands making sure to cover your eyes.
5. Place a piece of paper on your desk like step 6 from above.
After class is over, if the lecture was important get someone to summarize it for you to get the main info needed.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
2) Approach intended victim.
3) Using your thumb and middle finger, apply pressure to the nerve location on both sides of the neck.
1) A change in the tone and pitch of the person's voice.
2) An increased or decreased rate of speech.
3) Stumbling over sentences, stopping to think during a sentence, increased use of 'um' and 'uh'.
4) A change in the amount of eye contact. Normal people make eye contact between one-fourth and one-half of the time that they are talking to you. Liars tend to make less eye contact.
5) Turning their shoulders away.
6) Looking very far to the left, right, up or down more than twice.
7) Touching their face or scratching their head.
8) Involuntary moving, jiggling, scratching, or other fidgeting of the legs or feat.
9) Crossing of the arms and/or legs.
2) Get rid of your plastic jewelry.
3) Get rid of your clothes.
4) Buy new clothes, two sizes bigger than your old clothes, and not all black. (FROM THE RIGHT SECTION! NOT CLOTHES DESIGNED FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX!)
5) Dye your hair back to its original color.
6) If you don't need glasses, stop wearing them. If you need glasses, get contacts.
7) Get rid of any hair gel, hairspray, or hair straightener that you have been using to hold your hair in your face.
8) Get some scar removal cream and put it on your wrists.
9) Stop talking to your other emo friends.
10) Tear down posters, peel off stickers, burn magazines, and give away anything else that reminds you of your old life.
11) Get rid of all of the crappy poems you wrote.
12) Make some new friends.
13) Stop crying so much.
14) Throw away your Converse All-Stars. You have at least five pairs, get rid of all of them.
15) Enjoy not being emo.
2) Get your marinade. This part is important. I would suggest using barbeque sauce, honey mustard, italian dressing, or any combination of the three. I like to use 2 parts barbeque sauce, 1 part mustard, 1 part honey, 1 part honey mustard, 1 part italian dressing, a pinch of pepper, and a pinch of bay seasoning.
3) Put your chicken into a bag. If you have a vacuum packing machine (foodsaver), put it in of those bags, if not put it in another plastic bag that can be sealed.
4) Pour in your marinade slowly, making sure to cover the chicken.
5) Seal the bag. If you used a vacuum packing bag, then go again and vacuum the air out. The advantages of a vacuum sealed bag are that the vacuum opens the pores of the chicken allowing more marinade to enter the chicken faster.
6) Shake the bag. Make sure that the chicken has marinade all around it.
7) Refrigerate. Preferably for about 8 hours.
8) Cook, and enjoy.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
2) Toast the bread to desired toastiness.
3) Toast an Eggo.
4) Place the toasted Eggo between the two pieces of toasted bread.
5) Cut the sandwich in half, and place a pool of maple syrup between the halves.
6) Dip in the syrup, and enjoy!
2) Print the picture of the fingerprint onto a transparency sheet (the clear plastic paper used with overhead projectors) with a laser printer. The toner in the ink will make small indentations in the transparency sheet. Let the ink dry without smudging.
3) Cover the top of the fingerpring with wood glue. Leave it to sit overnight.
4) Put theatrical glue on the back of the dry wood glue, and attach to the desired finger.
5) Lift your finger and admire your new fingerprint.